Tannishblog

Three cheers for Dennis McNamara, special UN advisor on internal displacement, for speaking truth. He points the proverbial finger at the G8 for continuing to supply arm to African nations:

From CNN:

“Guns are at the heart of the problem … There is one slogan I would like to suggest for 2006: No Arms Sales to Africa. Zero. Not an embargo, not a sanction, a voluntary cessation of all arms sales to Africa,” McNamara told a news briefing.
“The kids on the streets of Nairobi, Khartoum, Abidjan and Monrovia have guns in their pockets or up their sleeves … We provided the arms. We the West, we the G8,” he added, referring to the Group of Eight industrialized nations.

In a free society, we are free to distribute arms to the underclass for a profit. Never mind the immorality of the deed: If it’s good for an industry, we do it. Then we can look the other way as corporate leaders give thousands to candidate who promote the selling of more weapons to impoverished children. This is capitalism. Folk, and there’s something deeply un-American in the criticism of it. Better we should host giant entertainment blitzes for western audiences, to capitalize on the plight of others, without actually addressing the underlying problem:

“The pop concerts save the kids for a short period of time. They do nothing about the underlying problems,” McNamara said.
“Twenty years after Live Aid, the farms of the Ogaden of Ethiopia are as impoverished and likely to have famine as 20 years ago. Nothing has changed on the ground, in fact it has gotten worse,” he added.

All good intentions aside, the real issue needs saying, and Dennis did just that:

“The rape victims of eastern Congo don’t give a damn about debt relief. They want to know who is raping them, who has provided the guns and can they get HIV tests.”

Kudos, Mr. McNamara: Too bad no one in position of power sill do anything about it.

Confession time: In my past life as a drug abusing, chain smoking retail zombie, I was an asshole. I prided myself on my ability to slice someone’s ego off with the fewest words. Few days went by when I couldn’t find opportunities to hone my skill. Despite all that, I somehow managed to make friends – something that still puzzles me…

All that changed a few years back.

I won’t bore you with my tale of spiritual recovery. You wouldn’t believe me. One day I decided to stop acting on my anger, to stop being selfish, and above all to seek the positive in my interactions with others. This ongoing project, perhaps the largest undertaking in my life outside of child rearing, I affectionately call Assholics Anonymous. It is time to tame the asshole in me.

Getting myself out of retail helped: A new job helps to promote a fresh outlook, and I worked to practice better human relations on the job. With one notable exception, I succeeded. When that job ended due to a corporate merger, I move onto another, wherein I could again start fresh. I was so successful at making a positive impression that I was given a hefty promotion last summer. Now, I find the question of assholishness foremost on a short list of challenges.

Perhaps it’s the industry; working in the construction business is something new for me; perhaps it’s the proximity to a credentialed sales force. Maybe working with roofers is the cause. Whatever, the issue of assholish behavior rears its stinky… well…you know what I mean. This time, though, I’m on the outside of the behavior pattern, forced to reconcile with people who, for differing reasons, are just like I was. Talk about Karma!

My very supportive boss drops subtle hints, warnings about being too friendly with the installation crews, how people are apt to be dishonest in context with money. Sometimes his hints are none-too-subtle. My fear is he expects me to turn into an asshole again. I feel I must resist this pressure. Surely the team can pull together without animosity and conflict. There must be a way to work out the differences without ugly behavior.

Maybe I’m being naïve. I’ve been known for this tendency. To me, this behavioral issue stems from opposing world views: the Christian view of all men being flawed and sinful, and the Buddhist view of all creatures being inherently perfect. The negative view gives rise to nihilism, wherein the individual stops trying to improve their behavior or outlook because of this insurmountable flaw. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy of “I am sinful, therefore I sin. I can’t help myself.”

In contrast, the positive view of intrinsic perfection gives rise to a paradigm of achievement. We are more apt to attend to better behavior because we all know we are capable of this, as in: “I know I can improve myself, for I am capable of perfection even though I haven’t yet achieved it.” A lot of responsibility is hardwired into this view. To continually work to improve one’s self is a difficult life.
Nevertheless, this is the view I prefer, and the path I now chose to take in life. Yet my convictions are being strained to the breaking point when I deal with monetary issues in the workplace. Juggling responsibilities such as hiring, scheduling, customer service, project management and documentation are relatively easy for me compared to working out pricing and labor costs. Frankly, when dealing with other people’s money, the worst behaviors come forth in all concerned. People become assholes. The natural human response is to be assholish right back.

This is wrong. In my heart, I know better, and I refuse to succumb to the trend. A path of peace exists, and I will either find it, or find another job. Before I succumb to a warpath, I will remove myself from the equation, letting another manager try. What is important is how we live our lives, how we impact the lives of those around us through the choices we make. Our jobs are necessary, but not of paramount importance. I will not allow my hindquarters to dictate my appearance. To me, this is essential.