Responding in Kind(ness)
Today I got a nice surprise in the form of a response from a reader at my original web page, the Tannish Page. It’s nice to know that some people are stumbling upon my writings on occasion. Being a tiny fish in the cesspool of the vast internet, I find I enjoy such a rare event.
Below I include the query as well as my reply, edited for anonymity:
Original Message:
name: Jim M.
comment: Tannish,I recently Googled “reflexive rude behavior” and your site was among those delivered. I am struggling with my own episodes of rude, boorish behavior that appear reflexively as a result of certain stimulus. I am usually embarrassed by these events, know they are hurtful and also know that, depending on the environment, can be potentially dangerous. I liked the poem you posted. Any thoughts on how the reflexive action can be delayed long enough to enable cognition to kick in allowing one to remember that there is another street to walk down?Jim
cheers: on
Hi, Jim
Thank you for taking the time to write me. Your question seems an honest one, unlike some I see on the ‘net… One can’t be too careful.As for an answer, I am not by any stretch an expert, but as you’ve noticed I have a bit of personal experience with poor behavior.
My advice: meditation. If you’re unfamiliar, meditation is the practice of becoming aware of what our minds do during those times we are not in the habit of noticing. For most people, this means most of the time. In my experience, the practice of meditation for a half hour or less almost every day has helped greatly in gaining sensitivity toward countermanding the mental triggers of my worst behavior, and correcting myself before I get out of control. To practice more would greatly accelerate the benefits.
This, it seems, is what you might be seeking. I wish you luck.Tannish