Comments on: Clash of Cultures http://tannish.net/2006/08/20/clash-of-cultures/ Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These Tue, 22 May 2012 13:22:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: travis http://tannish.net/2006/08/20/clash-of-cultures/#comment-300 travis Mon, 21 Aug 2006 16:32:44 +0000 http://tannish.net/2006/08/20/clash-of-cultures/#comment-300 I have several friends who have been or are involved in polyamorous relationships. The ratio of men to women in these relationships has varied, it's not a simple situation of many women with one man or many men with one women. However, recently one of my friends was in a relationship of 3 women with one man, and in fact that man has a young son. Each one of my friends who has practiced polyamory has had good and bad experiences, but something that a friend of mine recently said has really stuck out in my mind. She said that all relationships have their share of problems, but in polyamory, often many problems are happening at once. when 3 or 4 people are all together in a relationship, the dynamic is even more complicated than when a simple couple are in a relationship. The problems between two people become the problems of all involved, compounded with any problems any of the other combinations may have. On the converse it is also true that the strong bonds that are formed can positively affect the whole group. And when children are involved, they reap the benefit of having a small village to raise them (to paraphrase a popular axiom). It seems to balance out for people who are prepared for it. Though obviously unwilling participation in such a relationship is reprehensible and even worse than any clash of cultures or subcultures. Basically, all loving relationships are intense and often polyamory requires even more dedication and personal investment, but in a group relationship that works, everyone bears the burden and lightens the load for everyone else. Just like a successful monogamy. I have several friends who have been or are involved in polyamorous relationships. The ratio of men to women in these relationships has varied, it’s not a simple situation of many women with one man or many men with one women. However, recently one of my friends was in a relationship of 3 women with one man, and in fact that man has a young son.

Each one of my friends who has practiced polyamory has had good and bad experiences, but something that a friend of mine recently said has really stuck out in my mind. She said that all relationships have their share of problems, but in polyamory, often many problems are happening at once. when 3 or 4 people are all together in a relationship, the dynamic is even more complicated than when a simple couple are in a relationship. The problems between two people become the problems of all involved, compounded with any problems any of the other combinations may have.

On the converse it is also true that the strong bonds that are formed can positively affect the whole group. And when children are involved, they reap the benefit of having a small village to raise them (to paraphrase a popular axiom).

It seems to balance out for people who are prepared for it. Though obviously unwilling participation in such a relationship is reprehensible and even worse than any clash of cultures or subcultures.

Basically, all loving relationships are intense and often polyamory requires even more dedication and personal investment, but in a group relationship that works, everyone bears the burden and lightens the load for everyone else. Just like a successful monogamy.

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