Friday Night Zen #9
Friday, September 8th, 2006From my observations in life, from the news, from personal experience, I find most people in America seem to be miserable. I spent much of my formative years in such a state, and I think perhaps many others may as well. It's not that they cannot be happy, it's just they don't know how.
If one is raised by well-meaning parents who themselves have little experience in personal happiness, how is one likely to understand the mental mechanisms involved in joy, happiness, peace of mind? Without a roll model, a child lacks such knowledge. If, for example, a daughter lives in a family where much arguing, complaining, or instability occur, what can she be expected to take into her adult life from such an upbringing? To say nothing of the myriad ways children are abused or damaged, just the "little things" like verbal cruelty or consistent bullying by siblings is damaging to a fragile spirit.
Such atmospheres are common in family dynamics. Damaged people, who otherwise function well in society, give rise to damaged children. There are, of course, examples of the cycle breaking upon occasion, yet mostly things perpetuate, or get worse through time. It's a shame.
My experience was along those lines. That's why, while working the backroom in a bookstore, I was attracted to a tome entitled "The Art of Happiness." The cover is graced by a smiling man in maroon robes and glasses, for whom I have since developed a great respect: the Dalai Lama. Written by Howard C Cutler, a psychologist from Arizona, from teachings and stories gathered during a series of interviews, the book takes a fresh perspective of Buddhist wisdom by reinforcing it with modern psychological thought. This book literally changed my life for the better.
Chapter one, "The Right to Happiness," starts thusly:
"I believe the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we are all seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness…"
With these words, spoken beofre a large audience in Arizona, the Dalai Lama cut to the heart of his message…
This outlook was foreign to my experience. Most people I knew, while indeed determined to better themselves, were miserable and stuck that way. They simply don't know how to change. I believe it's reasonable to say most people don't know how to be truly happy.
"But is happiness a reasonable goal for most of us?" I asked. "Is is really possible?"
"Yes. I believe that happiness can be achieved through training the mind."
Training the mind… Another new concept. That is definitely not taught in the Lutheran tradition I inherited. While I vaguely knew of athletes training the mind to over come fear, manage pain, and improve concentration, nowhere did I hear previously that the mind could be trained for happiness - or that it should be. This intrigued me.
In the Dhammapada, the Buddha said:
The mind is the forerunner of all actions.
All deeds are led by mind, created by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a corrupt mind, suffering follows,
As the wheel follows the hoof of an ox pulling a cartThe mind is the forerunner of all actions.
All deeds are led by mind, created by mind.
If one speaks or acts with a serene mind, happiness follows,
As surely as one's shadow.
As for the Art of Happiness - if you feel you might need a primer on the subject, or for a good beginning into Buddhist thought without all the religious trappings, then this is a great place to start. You'll be glad you did!