Tannishblog

Anyone hoping to be the Republican presidential contender this time around has got to be commended - or crazy. (Why does Rudy Guiliani come to mind?) These intrepid idiotarians are backed into a corner of their own making so tightly their underwear has right angles. As evident by the empty words uttered at their presidential debate, the corner they’re in hasn’t a board left to stand on.

I’m not surprised to read the Washington Post’s report of Mayor Rudy is taking flack for his comments on abortion. John "Kevlar Kommando" McCain, arguably the Republican frontrunner, decries Rudy’s remarks as counter to "the fundamental principles of a conservative." Interesting choice of words from the veteran Baghdad shopper; the word "value" is notably absent.

That’s why it’ll be a murderous campaign for the Republican nomination. They can’t talk about their "values" without heckling from the media. In fact, they can’t talk about:

• Iraq
• US Attorneys
• Health Care
• Education
• Global Warming
• Republican Integrity
• George W Bush
• Tom DeLay
• Gitmo
• Walter Reed Hospital
• Osama Bin Laden

What’s left to talk about? Mayor Guiliani’s support of choice for women, his contributions to planned parenthood in the 1990’s. Naturally, the 101st Flying Keyboarders of Right Blogistan and conservative talk-show hosts are all over it. Their other talking points are as stale as last month’s saltines, their pet projects in the War against Brown People are just as unappetizing. All the while the few congressional Republicans who managed to hold onto their seats are fleeing any association with the White House like rats on a sinking ship. (More a fact than a simile.)

So give these hopefuls some credit. None have a chance in Hell of sitting in the Oval Office anytime soon, but they all have the intestinal fortitude to gamble their political futures on the thinnest of chances. For that they should get a medal for bravery. That or a straight jacket.